Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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