she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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