On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
