But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
