My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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