any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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