So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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