Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
