You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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