are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
