It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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