I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
