I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just had sex on a roof
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize