There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
