Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize