I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
