Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
