Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
