And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
