wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
