I think my vagina is haunted
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
