Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
