Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
