ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize