Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
