You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize