Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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