I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The power of my boobs compel you
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
