Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
