He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
