how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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