I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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