Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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