You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
