i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize