i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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