how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
false alarm. still invincible.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
