is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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