new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
