exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
