my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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