Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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