I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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