when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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