..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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