I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
