We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
