Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
