i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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