You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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