hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
