Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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