I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He better not be in your backpack
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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