he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize