you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
