I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i think my mom watched the whole time
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
