You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
