it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dicks are not precious.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
