All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize