it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
