So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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