and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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