im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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