i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize