Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
send nudes
from the living room?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
