so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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