So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
