Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
