is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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