so that wasnt chicken after all
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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