drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
